The Moment I Said It
by Seldenta
Summary: Sam over hears something that Dean said, something he didn't mean. Something he was never supposed to know. When the results of these words unfolds, how will the boys cope? Better than summary. Slash Dean/Sam. Graphic slash, violence, swearing. Rated M for a reason.
1. The Moment I Said It

The Moment I Said It

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to Kripke. Lucky fucker.

Warnings: Graphic Slash, Graphic Violence, Incest, Cursing

Muse Songs: The Moment I Said it - Imogen Heap, It Will Rain - Bruno Mars, A thousand years - Christina Perri, I want you to want me - Letters to cleo, Leave - Matchbox twenty, What if - Safetysuit, If I didn't have you - Thompson Square, Nobody Sees - Powderfingers

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It was yet another day in the lives of Samuel Winchester and Dean Winchester… another rather weird and fucked up day. The only relaxing part was the usual rumble of the sleek black Impala as it rolled down yet another nameless road. In the background Ac/Dc was playing, the volume turned down so much it was nothing but a whisper. "So, does it look like our kind of case?" Dean asked as he glanced at his younger brother out of the corner of his eye.

Sam didn't even look up from the newspaper in his lap, his long legs somehow folded up on the bench seat of the impala. It didn't look like a comfortable position but well, Dean didn't mind - not really - when Sams feet bumped his thigh or side. "Sammy?" Dean tried again, worried by his brothers lack of response. "Hm? Uh yea it does." Sam finally replied having snapped out of his trance.

"So? What does it say?" Dean added rather impatiently. "Two men were found in alleys, with their bodies mangled and ripped apart. Locals are claiming that it was a dog attack.. And are hunting for this dangerous dog. But both of them happened during full moons and-" "They're missing their hearts?" Dean finished to which Sam nodded. "You sure you wanna take this hunt?" Dean asked, glancing at Sam once again. It hadn't been that long since the fiasco with Madison. "Yea Dean, We're the closest hunters."

"We could call Bobby, he could-" "It's fine." Sam cut him off, shooting him a 'drop it' look to which Dean shrugged and focused on the road again. Sam sighed and put the paper on the floor board, placing his duffel over it and shifted on the seat. Dean barely restrained a smirk when Sams feet stretched across his lap and his head was nestled onto Deans jacket. Silently he moved one hand off the wheel and placed it upon his brothers calf.

Sam jumped when he felt a hand on his leg, but quickly relaxed when he realized it was just Dean. Closing his eyes he nuzzled into the jacket and enjoyed the silence, the warmth of his brothers hand, the familiar rumble of the car. It was a position they were both used to, it went back to their child hood when they'd both hit growth spurts. Dean used to object to being used as a foot rest, but somewhere along the line he quit complaining and often smirked when Sam would do it.

Dean doubted that his brother felt the same way he did, that he'd stick around if he knew why his brother smirked when he was used as a foot rest. Why he'd stopped complaining, and even seemed to enjoy it. Yes he was sure Sam would run if he knew the thoughts that ran through Deans head when Sam came out of the shower, in nothing but a towel. Dean sighed and shook his head, ridding himself of such thoughts. He couldn't risk his brother feeling his attraction to such images.. And flip out.

They continued the drive in silence, and when they pulled into some hole in the wall motels parking lot Sam had fallen asleep. Dean put the Impala in park and hesitated, before reluctantly shaking his brother awake. "Hn?" Sam grumbled, burrowing his face into the leather. "Get up, we gotta get a room." Groaning Sam pulled his legs from his brothers lap, allowing Dean to exit the car. Shaking his head fondly Dean went into the office to get their key to their room.

"Evening. How may I help you?" Asked the brunette at the desk, her eyes roaming over Deans body. Plastering on a cocky smirk he moved towards the desk, and leaned against the edge. "Any way I could get a room?" He drawled, smiling down at the young woman. "Er…King?" She mumbled, seemingly awestruck. Dean glanced over his shoulder and shrugged, it wasn't the first time they'd share a bed. Granted they were kids the other times… but it couldn't be all that different could it? "Yea." She nodded and turned, grabbing a key. "Thirty five dollars." Dean handed her two twenties and waited while she got his change. Once he was handed the keys he winked at her and turned to leave, crumpling the paper with her number on it as he exited.

Upon reaching the Impala he noticed that Sam had fallen back asleep. Heaving a sigh he gently opened the passenger side door, supporting Sams head as he did so. "Sam, Man." Dean huffed, shaking his brothers shoulder with one hand. "Don't make me carry your gigantic ass." He growled when Sam didn't stir. Rolling his eyes he missed the slight twitch to his brothers lips as Dean leaned into the car and began dragging Sam out of it. It took more work then he'd admit but once he had his brother leaning against the side of the car he paused. "Sam." He tried in his commanding tone, but other then a slight twitch his brother didn't react.

"Alright." Dean shrugged before crouching slightly and lifting his brother as if he were a sack of potatoes. Upon righting himself he stumbled, knees nearly giving out. "Geh. You've gained a few man." Dean grumbled as he trudged on, walking the short distance - thankfully - to the door. Dropping their duffels he managed to open the door with one hand before snagging the bags and heading into the room. Where he promptly dumped Sam onto the bed, along with the duffels. It was once he'd taken the moment to stare at his brother, that he figured well…Sam couldn't sleep in his jeans. Moving to the side of the bed he gently undid his brothers pants and pulled them and his shoes off, before tucking him into the bed. Some may have found it odd that he had no qualms with undoing his brothers jeans, but in their line of work they were often injured…and it fell upon Dean to treat Sams wounds.

After an hour of flipping through channels with the volume down so low he nearly couldn't hear them, he decided to locate some grub. Grabbing his jacket and keys he scribbled Sam a quick note and left the room, heading towards the office so he could ask them where a diner was. It didn't take long before he reached the office and opened the door to find instead of the woman, a man… more so two men. Both of them were kissing behind the counter, and Dean raised a brow before clearing his throat. Both men pulled away slowly before the black haired one turned to glance at him. "Yes?" He questioned, clearly not pleased with being interrupted. "Er..wheres the closest diner?" Deans voice came out rough, and he didn't know if it was from embarrassment or arousal. "Two blocks down, on the left." Dean nodded and rushed out of the office.

Hoping into the Impala, it didn't take him long before he reached the diner, and was heading into the building. He knew what he wanted, and was pretty sure what Sam would want when his brother woke up. Upon approaching the counter he watched as a busty blonde approached, with a flirty smile on her lips. Normally he would have jumped at the chance to put on the charm, but now.. Now he simply glanced at the menu she slid him before shaking his head. "What can I get ya honey?" She questioned, a hand on her hip while she leaned on the counter, pushing her breast into his face. Dean took a step back and frowned "I'd like a double cheeseburger with extra cheese, fries and a coke. As well as a Caesar salad and unsweet tea." She blinked at the total different orders, but shrugged and wrote it down passing it to the cook. "Ordering for your girl? So sweet." She cooed, and he blinked at her. What? "Huh? Uh no…" "Oh! Your fella!" Dean couldn't help but stare at her. "No." He growled out. "My brother." Not that it was any of her business.

She smirked and chuckled "Whatever you say dearie." and walked off leaving Dean staring after her. What the fuck? The nerve of some people, it never ceased to amaze him. Five minutes later she returned with his order and he tossed the cash at her before walking out. What had given her the idea he was gay?! Shaking his head he slid effortlessly into the Impala and headed back to the motel. Hopefully his Sammy was still asleep, so he wouldn't notice he'd been gone. As he pulled up he noticed the chick from the desk outside smoking. Once the impala was shut off he got out, pulling the food with him. "Aw, your boyfriends lucky. Bringing him dinner and all." She commented upon seeing the two meals. Dean whipped around to face her. "He's not my boyfriend. I'm not a fag. I've never been in love with another man!" He snapped, clearly annoyed. The workers jaw dropped open as she stared, and a soft gasp caught his attention.

Turning towards their room he caught sight of Sam disappearing back inside. "Fuck!" Dean cried, moving after his brother. Rushing into the room he slammed the door behind him, the sight in the room broke his heart into a million pieces. Sam - with tears in his eyes - was hastily gathering up his stuff. "Sammy…" Dean breathed, dropping the food onto the table by the door and edging towards his brother. Sam shook his head as he grabbed his phone and heaved his duffel onto his shoulder. "Sam.." Dean pleaded again, and reached out to place a hand on his brothers arm. Sam smacked the offending hand away and wheeled away from him, heading towards the door as the first tears fell. Dean lunged then, grabbing Sams arm and yanking him backwards, causing his oversized brother to stumble and fall onto the end of the bed with an 'oomph'. "Where the hell do you think your going?!" Dean snarled out, his grip tightening on Sams arm.

Sam winced before ripping his arm from Deans grip and moved to stand. "Isn't it obvious? I mean, I know I've always been the brains out of us here Dean but surely you're not that stupid." Sam snapped, glaring at Dean as he moved once more towards the door. Dean moved between him and the door, arms crossed. "Your not leaving." He replied in a deadly calm tone, a tone that meant danger… a tone, that normally Sam would have caved to. "The fuck I'm not. Move Dean." Sam ordered, moving into his brothers space in hopes of using his height to frighten Dean. Of course, he should have known that was a bad idea.

Though Dean had his arms crossed, he was still a hunter and still had swift reflexes. Within the blink of an eye, Deans hand shot up and his fist punched Sam in the face, sending the taller stumbling back once more. This time however Sam managed to keep his balance, and anger flared to life in his eyes. "You're not leaving Sammy. Not until you tell me what the Fu-" His words were cut off by a fist to his jaw, causing his head to jerk sideways. Dean wiggled his jaw, testing to see if it was broken before he turned to face Sam again. "What the fuck is your deal!?" Dean snarled, shoving Sam back onto the bed and straddling his waist, pinning his arms down with one hand. "Dean, get off me." Sam ordered, while trying to free his hands. "No, tell me what your issue is." Dean hissed, squeezing the wrists in his grip as he leaned down over his brother.

Sam turned his face away from Dean and went limp, giving up - or so it seemed - for Dean was the stronger. For all of Sams height and size, Dean could still kick his ass… but only because Sam never wanted to hurt his brother. "I don't have an issue." Sam drawled in a monotone, almost robotic in tone. Dean was shocked at the change and his grip loosened, giving Sam the chance to break free of it and shove Dean off of him, and onto the floor. Before his brother had a chance to realize what had happened, he was up off the bed and out the door, disappearing around the corner without a trace.

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A/N: Oooo Dean messed up. Also, the songs above are for the whole story. They're the songs that gave me muse. I got this idea after seeing a morgan/reid slash video set to the song 'the moment I said it' so yea. Also if you read 'Just memories' i'm having a writers block there...hence this story. xD


	2. Nobody Sees

Chapter 2: Nobody Sees

Disclaimer: I own nothing, Sam and dean belong to Kripke. Lucky fucker.

Muse Songs: Snuff - Slipknot, Nobody Sees - Powderfinger

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**Deans POV**

Several weeks had passed since Sam had vanished without a trace, without a word. Dean to be honest looked like shit, dark circles under his eyes were the least of his problems. His clothes were wrinkled and the last time he'd showered had to have been days ago… garbage littered the floorboard of his baby. He couldn't believe he was out here, searching without any signs for his brother. Was Sam even still alive? Hell if he knew, and if he was did he even want Dean to find him? Something told him that no, Sam didn't want to be found…least of all by him. But at the moment he didn't give a fuck, he would find his brother and dear ol Sammy had some questions to answer.

Such as what the fuck possessed him to take of without a trace? He knew his brother had run because there had been no sulfur in the room - or anywhere around - and a demon couldn't appear without leaving some behind. If it had been a demon, they would have just killed his brother anyways, because there was no reason to take him.

A frustrated sigh ripped from his throat followed by the signature "Fuck!" as he came to yet another dead end. The motel he was sitting in front of hadn't seen anyone matching his brothers description, and they'd keep an eye out. Yea, right. His phone ringing snapped him out of his cloud of despair. Glancing at the caller id he flipped it open. "Anything?" He barked into the mouth piece, rolling his eyes at the disgruntled response on the other end. "What?!" Dean perked up as the gruff voice on the other end rambled off coordinates. "Thanks Bobby." "_Bring your brother home idjit_" Dean smiled at that as he remembered his friend saying that at the start of this wild goose hunt. He'd bring Sam home alright, and then tie him to the bed so he couldn't leave again. Ever.

Orlando Florida, that was where his brother was in some run down motel in the edge of what some considered the 'ghetto'. A rather sad place for his brother to pick - not that he couldn't handle himself - and it was just another thing added to the list of subjects for their up coming discussion. It took Dean 14 hours to get there, and luckily the motel manager said his brother was still there - after some incentive - and had given him a key to the room. It was this reason that Dean was sitting in the corner of the room, in the dark with his favored knife in his lap. He didn't know how long he'd been there - it had to have been hours - when he heard movement outside the room and the familiar sound of Sams voice. However he started as another masculine voice followed his brothers with a laugh and thump as they collided into the door.

He could hear his brother moan and didn't know if it was from pain - he doubted it - or arousal. The lock turned and the door opened, he could just make out his brothers silhouette as the two stumbled into the room - only pausing long enough to close the door - before collapsing onto the bed. The stranger was on the bottom, Sams mouth moving over the other mans skin, drawing moans from him. In the dark he couldn't make out the other man other then that he'd been just a few inches shorter than his brother but, seemed to be muscular for his height. In fact his build and height seemed to be well..his own. Brows furrowed he peered into the dark, shifting his dagger in his lap as Sam drew another moan from his bed partner. "Mmm." Sam groaned, biting into the mans shoulder.

"Dean." It was nearly a whisper, but in the silence he made it out perfectly. Dean? He thought in shock, shifting in his seat causing his foot to slide across the carpet. This sound drew his brothers attention and he jumped up, yanking his pistol from under the mattress and pointing it towards him in the chair. If it hadn't been so dire, he would have laughed at how fast his brother moved. "Who's there?!" Sam demanded and he heard the gun cock. The stranger set up on the bed, wrapping his arms around Sams waist. "mm Babe no ones there." He urged, sucking at Sams side. Dean released a growl and stood, closing the space between him and his brother. In one swift move he jerked Sam away from the stranger and wrestled the gun from his grasp easily, wrapping a arm around his brothers waist. "Leave." He snarled out at the man on the bed.

When he made no move, Dean pointed the gun at him as his knife dug lightly into Sams side. "Go" Sam urged, knowing who had him in their grasp and that he was in no danger. The man on the bed hesitated, sliding to the end of it and standing. "It's fine. Go. He won't hurt me." Dean heard his brother urge, as he kept the gun aimed at the other man. When Sam raised a hand and placed it on the barrel, pushing the gun down the man fled then, slamming the door behind him. "Dean." Sam started, gasping when Dean threw him onto the bed. "I don't know what shit you were trying to pull, but once again you ran. Again!"

**Sams POV**

Sam gasped as he hit the bed, not bothering to right himself while Dean paced in front of him. "De.." He tried again, stunned when his brother leapt on top of him, pressing the knife against his throat. "You ran." Dean hissed. "I'd spent weeks looking for you, and I find you fucking around with some guy?! Do you not even care that I was worried shitless?!" Sam pressed forward, causing the blade to dig into his throat, knowing Dean would retreat - which he did - and placed a hand over Deans arm. "You made yourself perfectly clear Dean. You could never…" He trailed off shaking his head, pushing his brother off him and moving off the bed.

He moved away from the bed, pacing across the room and running his hand through his long, brunette locks. He could feel Deans eyes on him, could feel him watch as he paced. His nerves were on high alert, he could feel himself shaking from the stress and turn of events. He'd gone out to the bar and picked up the guy who looked somewhat like his brother - for which he was glad the lights were off - and wanted to come back and fuck. However, that didn't happen. He knew he should have been elated, Dean had tracked him down, Dean cared. But he wasn't he was nervous, furious, horny, and scared.

"Never what?" Deans voice broke through the darkness, causing Sam to flinch and turn in the direction of the bed. A bitter laugh ripped from his throat, breaking through his lips and causing his heart to clinch. Never what? His brother didn't even know, hadn't even figured it out. A broken sob followed the laugh, and he bit his lip forcing it back, forcing himself not to cry. He could feel his eyes welling up and he blinked back the tears, he was done. He couldn't help but think of a line from one of his favorite songs as he stood there. Bitter in his anger and wallowing in his grief. _I only wish you weren't my friend, then I could hurt you in the end. _Dean was, he was his best friend and his protector…. His brother.

"Sam" Deans voice sounded annoyed, pushing and prodding. He wouldn't want to know though, he'd be disgusted and probably stab Sam where he stood. He knew he had to tell him though, knew that this moment would be the moment Dean ripped his heart out and smashed it. _If you love me let me go_ Now was the time, the time to let Dean go. _I don't deserve to have you_ After everything he'd done, he didn't deserve happiness. Least of all with the one he loved…loves. However he couldn't find the words to express his feelings. Instead he moved, closing the distance between himself and the bed. The lights outside offered enough in the room to see the silhouette of Dean.

"Sam?" This time his brother sounded concerned, worried. Sam couldn't help but snort at that, he was the one with the knife what did he have to be worried about. Sam leaned down on the bed, and pressed his lips against Deans. He could feel his brother tense as he kissed him, his tongue running along his bottom lip. Pain blossomed in his chest as he stumbled back, tripping over his own feet and landing with a thump on the ground. "What the fuck sam!?" Dean yelled, jumping up off the bed.

Sam couldn't see, but he was sure his brother was wiping his mouth. Sam turned his head, looking away from his brothers silhouette as tears streamed down his face. "You could never." Sam mumbled, mostly to himself. Lights blinded him then, as Dean flipped them on and Sam refused to look up. He refused to give Dean the satisfaction of seeing his bleeding heart, the pain on his face. He could feel the anger coming off his brother in waves, saw the knife as he gripped it at his side. He could see his brothers knuckles turning white as he stood near the door, could feel the glare. Still Sam refused to look up, refused to acknowledge the hate he knew he'd see there. _If you love me, let me go _Well he let Dean go now, he'd ruined their relationship and sat waiting for his brother to deliver the killing blow.

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**A/N: Sorry this took so long! Life has been crazy, boss is a bitch and I'm trying to find a new job. Applied at pet smart to be a dog trainer and I'm hoping I get the job. So this chapter didn't go as planned… It sort of wrote itself while I listened to the songs. I feel so bad for Sammy, he just wants to be loved! Anyway, Next chapter will be up ASAP.**


	3. If I Didn't Have You

Chapter 3: If I Didn't Have you

Disclaimer: I own nothing, everything belongs to Kripke.

Muse Songs: Back to December - Taylor Swift, All I Need - AWOLNATION, Dead hearts - Stars, This means war - Nickelback, Follow You Home - Nickelback, If I didn't have you - Thompson Square

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**Deans POV**

To say he was stunned would be an understatement. When he'd pushed Sam for an answer, he didn't expect for his brother to pounce on him and…and…molest him. He could still feel his brothers lips against his, his tongue. He shuddered as he stood there, glaring down at his baby brother as he sat on the ground refusing to look up. Dean clenched his hand around the knife in his hand, once, twice. Tossing it onto the bed he closed the distance between him and Sam, watching as his brother flinched and curled in on himself.

This was not how his brother acted, this skittish man was not right. Reaching down he grabbed Sams arm and yanked him up, shoving him onto the bed. Even then Sam didn't look up, he kept his face turned down and away. Dean saw them anyways, the tears that dripped from his brothers chin onto his thighs. Sighing he stepped back and moved towards the door. Just as his hand touched the door knob the broken "De" stopped him. He tensed, and his hands clenched into fists. "De" Sam said again, it came out like a broken sob.

He didn't want to turn around, didn't want to see the hurt expression he knew had painted itself across those familiar features. His shoulders tensed and his head dipped slightly, a harsh sigh ripping from his throat as he squeezed his eyes shut. Maybe if he ignored him, ignored the screaming in his head telling him to comfort Sam he could leave. "Say Something." Sam pressed, though Dean knew he wasn't looking at him still. Anger pulsed through his veins, anger and confusion. What the fuck had possessed his brother to do ….THAT.

"I need air." Dean barely spoke, his voice deep and gravely though the anger was a clear under current. Sam didn't say anything so Dean took the chance and all but fled from the room. Crossing the sidewalk to the Impala he leaned against the trunk, running a hand through his hair. "FUCK." He growled out, kicking some bottle across the parking lot. He didn't know what was going through his brothers head, let alone his own. Leaning back against the trunk he stared off into space.

Sam he knew wasn't impulsive… that meant that his brother had been holding back for awhile, had hidden this from him. Out of the two, he knew that his brother was the smarter of them - and often teased him for it - so for Sam to simply throw himself at him…. Had he really been so blind? He loved Sam that much he knew, it'd always been his job. _Take care of your brother, boy._ Their father always said. _Watch out for Sam _It was so engrained into his brain he would give his baby brother anything. But could he do this?

He hated the fact that Sam was in that room, in pain and because of him. He never wanted to hurt his brother, would shoot anyone who dared to cause Sammy pain. As he stood there a fond smile crossed his lips, as he thought back to when Sam might have been infected with that demon virus. The man had wanted to shoot his brother…. "_Look I understand he's your brother and I'm sorry I am. I gotta take care of this." Dean was not letting anyone hurt or kill his brother.. His sammy. "I'm going to say this one time. You make a move on him and you'll be dead before you hit the ground. Do you understand me? Do I make myself clear?!" _He knew that some would think him insane, risking everyone just because there was a possibility that Sam wasn't infected. But the thought of living in this world without Sammy… it hurt, physically. His heart always clenched and his chest hurt whenever he thought of it. Was it simply because that was his brother… or was it more?

Back then he'd told them all to leave and leave him with Sam. He knew that if Sam had been infected, he'd be following his brother out of this world shortly. Sam knew it too, and had told him to go, to leave him there. Like hell. At the time it'd seemed natural to kill himself after having to kill his brother…but really was it? As he stood there he could feel a pull, something urging him back to Sam. He'd always considered it their bond as brothers… but what if it was love? Sam was all he ever knew, he'd only ever loved and cared for Sam. It'd nearly killed him when his brother left for Stanford. Of course he'd let him go, because it was what Sam wanted.

He turned towards the motel room and could see his brother on the bed, curled into a fetal position as he sobbed. _"Do you know what I confessed in there? What my greatest sin was? It was how many times I let you down, I can't do that again." Sam said while tears streamed down his face. "Sam.." Dean tried, wanting to tell his brother that it didn't matter. None of it mattered, only he did. "What happens when you've decided I can't be trusted again?" Sam asked, a hint of anger in the hurt tone. "Who are you going to turn to next time, instead of me?" The pain in his brothers voice seemed to be ripping his heart to shreds. "Another angel? Another… Another vampire?" The latter was said with such disdain. "Do you know how it feels to watch your brother-" "Hold on, Just hold on" Dean cut him off. "You seriously think that?" Dean questioned, hurt that his brother believed he put others before him. "Because none of it. None of it! Is true. Listen man, I know we've had our disagreements okay? Hell I know I've said some junk that's set you back on your heels. But Sammy.. Come on. I Killed Benny, to save you. I'm willing to let this bastard, and all the sons of bitches that killed mom walk, because of you. Don't you dare think that there is anything past or present that I would put in front of you! Its never been like that, ever! I need you to see that."_

It was with that memory of his confession to his brother that opened his eyes and he shoved away from the impala, moving towards the motel room with confident strides. He loved his brother, probably more than he should. He'd die for his brother, hell he had died for Sam… had given up friends for him, and would give anything to keep him in his life. If Sam loved him more than a brother, he was willing to try. Just to see his brother smile.. Just to keep him at his side. It was where he belonged, he wasn't whole without Sammy. Opening the door he crossed the room, flinching when it slammed shut behind him. He didn't even pause, and easily climbed into the bed with his brother. Wrapping his arms around Sam he pressed a kiss to the back of his neck as he pulled his over-sized baby brother into his body. "Shh. Its okay Sammy." He soothed, brushing his hair from his face. "I've been a blind, ignorant bastard." This caused Sams sobs to quiet, and he turned towards Dean slightly. "I don't know if I love you.. like that. But I know I love you, and I don't ever want to hurt you or lose you. We can try Sammy…"

**Sams POV**

Sam stared at Dean after he said they could try, confused as to what changed his mind. He sniffled slightly and turned the rest of the way, burrowing his face into Deans chest. He knew how uncomfortable 'chick flick moments' made Dean… so for his brother to start one meant something to him. His own arms uncurled, and wrapped around Deans waist. "What made you change your mind?" He mumbled into Deans chest, knowing his brother would be able to understand him. This was a position he'd spent many nights when they were growing up, haunted by nightmares. He'd often crawl into Deans bed and cuddle into his big brother, seeking protection and security… comfort.

He breathed in now, the familiar scent of sweat, gun powder, oil and leather. Dean. "I thought about our lives, how much I love you. Sure it started out as my job, protect Sammy. But at some point, it changed. I couldn't stand the idea of living in this world without you. No matter how much we fight, or fuck up.. I always want you with me. You're my Sammy." Dean replied, and Sam grinned. It wasn't some elaborate response or explanation but he knew what Dean meant. He felt lost and like he had a piece missing whenever Dean was gone… be it them separating because of a fight…or if one of them was dead. He nuzzled his face into Deans chest and heard him groan. "Dude, did you just wipe snot on my shirt?" It was such a contrast to the emotional response from before, that it drew a chuckle from Sam. "Noo." Sam replied, his smile still plastered across his face as his hands clenched onto Deans shirt and he breathed him in.

He'd been afraid that he'd lost his brother when Dean left the room, had cursed his stupidity for acting on impulse. It was rarely something he did… and he'd thought he'd ruined his relationship with his brother. After all they'd faced, he had driven Dean away. But then Dean came back and Sam feared his wrath… until he was pulled into an embrace. The kiss to the back of his neck had calmed him, Dean wasn't leaving him after all. Pulling away just enough to see his brother, he leaned into his touch as Dean brushed his tears away. "I love you too." Dean smiled then, and leaned in to gently brush his lips against Sams causing Sams heart to jump and beat faster. "My Sammy." Sam nodded and buried his face into Deans neck. "Yours." He whispered, not bothering to tell him that it was Sam, not Sammy. He'd given that up years ago when he'd told Gordon that only Dean could call him Sammy. Just like he was the only one to call Dean, De. His De.

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**A/N: God that scene in the season finale nearly made me cry when I saw it. I love that show, and moments like that is why I Ship this pairing. Dean only really, truly opens up to Sam… Its just so Ahh I cant find words. I'd like to thank everyone for the follows and favorites. I've already started on chapter four… there'll probably only be a few more chapters since this was basically just supposed to be a 'dean fucks up and almost loses his Sammy…but realizes his love for his brother' fic xD ANYWAYS. R&R and you MIGHT get a treat next chapter.**


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